forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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