Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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