we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Intervention is following me on twitter.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
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I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.