that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny