So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?