My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize