I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
