just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is the high leading the old right now
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
