Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
false alarm. still invincible.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.