Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.