We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream