you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
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Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.