He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize