I feel like abortions should bother me more
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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