how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize