I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
