He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
