I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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