you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you