she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it