Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?