You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
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Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.