youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.