Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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