In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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