And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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