I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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