I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
