I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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