Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride