God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
thus making me awesome and them whores
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!