I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Most Men Are Unaware Of These 27 Things About A Woman’s Life
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm