Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you didnt know i had herpes?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.