I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize