I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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