I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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