what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
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I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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