I hate your face
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
