I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
COCAINE IS GR8
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