can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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