I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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