god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Found your dick twin last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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