think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
