you guys were way drunker than both of me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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