I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize