I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.