oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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