You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
