dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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