Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my shit smells like andre
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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