i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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