dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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