dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
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BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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