You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize