3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo