i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..