My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize