You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
well you can't waste a boner
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize