I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT