Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
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Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.