She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize