WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
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I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
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I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night