Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo