in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Farmville is her only friend.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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