9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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